Bridging the Gap: Black and African students discuss issues involving love in their communities
On Feb. 13, the leaders of the Black Student Association (BSA) and African Student Association (ASA) led a panel discussion addressing the issues of love in their communities and the world. Anonymous questions appeared on the board to be answered by the panelists, one of whom was Dean Holmes of the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences, who weighed in with advice based on his experience with matured love.
The words of Dean Holmes were observed by the younger panelists. There was an approximate 30-40 year age gap between them, which steered the conversation onto a “then vs. now” track. The Dean was able to discuss how love was expressed in his youth and how he keeps it alive with his wife today.
He seemed to be a valued source of wisdom according to students such as senior ASA president, Moyin Afolayan. “The best advice I heard tonight is to listen more than I speak … Just making sure that you not only just care about what’s important to you…” She said, “I think that’s what forms healthy relationships.” She is an IT management major from Nigeria.
The dean’s words also seemed to resonate with Nathan Wallace, a sophomore business entrepreneurship major from Atlanta, Georgia. “I found a lot of things very interesting, especially having Dr. Holmes on the panel” He said. “He’s in his 60s and he’s been married for 37 years and it’s just … very good to know and to have that insight … His real life experiences—they just felt so real even though we haven’t [lived] to experience them.” Wallace is also president of the BSA.
The panelists answered questions that were both general and personal. The covered topics included:
- The significance of communication
- How self-love affects vulnerability
- How colorism, or the discrimination against others because of their skin shade, impacts the dating pool
- Generational trauma
- The effects of dating apps and social media in modern culture
- Dating to marry vs. dating for fun
- The effects of religion and culture on a relationship
The cultural differences and personal experiences among the Black, African and African-American panelists drove the conversation in different ways, but all were able to find commonalities in each topic. Generally speaking, mutual religion and cultural acceptance was non-negotiable in a relationship among all the represented cultures.
“If you don’t want to know about my culture, you don’t want to know about me,” said Heleena Khabtimer, Lipscomb’s coordinator of commuter student services.
While romance was the primary focus in light of Valentine’s Day, platonic and familial relationships were also discussed. The panelists revealed that the way that they expressed love to others was inspired by the way they saw their parents interact. Many had not seen love expressed in their households in the movie-style way. Rather, marriage was more like a partnership among their parents.
Many of them added more value and weight to the phrase “I love you” and those in romantic relationships tended to be more physically expressive towards their partners.
“Since it’s the day before Valentine’s Day and also it’s Black History Month, we thought that we could, you know, combine it to talk about both very important things in our culture.” Wallace explained.
February may be nearing its end, but both clubs have a few more upcoming events this semester with can be found searching African Student Association and Black Student Association on Presence here and Instagram.
